I was thrilled to receive some really excellent questions from a reader on this post that I’d like to answer in greater detail.
The original comment was as follows:
If you don’t mind getting personal, I have a question for you: Did your father (or parents) prepare you during your entire childhood for a betrothal? Did you have any ideas or expectations that you should “fall in love” before marriage? Were you permitted to watch movies (like Disney movies or Jane Austen)? If so, did this impact your feelings or beliefs about romantic relationships before marriage and did your parents actively counter this? Obviously you don’t have to answer if you don’t want, or maybe you can do another blog post about it. 🙂
Let’s Talk Courtship!
After I announced my marriage on an old blog of mine, a young woman commented,
“I want to know more about how you got married! What do you think about courtship?”
In American culture there are really only two romantic relationship options that most people know: dating and courtship; so it’s not surprising that people are confused when someone uses a different term (i.e., “betrothal”) to describe how they got married. It raises eyebrows, and questions are sure to follow.
So today, I’m going to publicly answer that question I received two years ago.
NOTE: this retreat has been canceled.
I’m so excited to be sharing about the Get Them Married Retreat hosted by my family’s ministry, Let Them Marry! We’ve been working on collecting all the necessary information for a while, so I’m thrilled that we’re now ready for people to start signing up.
In true homsechooler fashion…
…all ages mingled together as our two families stood around the kitchen talking. Having two unmarried 19-year-old girls (one of whom was myself) in the room, the conversation predictably turned in the direction of romantic relationships. Mrs. R. shared her concern that her children wouldn’t be able to have relationships with the opposite sex without having romantic thoughts towards them, and posed the question, “how are they supposed to treat others as only brothers and sisters in Christ?”
Without thinking, I blurted out, “I don’t think that’s possible.”
One 4th of July…
..some great friends of ours invited us to join them at a party being hosted by a family Joshua and I didn’t know. Our friends, the H’s, assured us that the host family would be pleased to have us show up, even if not officially invited. With much tepidity we decided to go, but of course through a crazy set of events we ended up arriving before our friends did. Talk about awkward! You should have heard us trying to explain that. “Um… yeah… we uh… know the H family, and they… uh… invited us to come here but… well… they aren’t here yet.”
Do you ever feel guilty for desiring marriage? If so, you’re not alone.
Chances are, you’ve dealt with plenty of well-meaning family, friends, and even strangers reminding you to “be content in this time of singleness.” This contentment theme is woven into blog posts, books, sermons, and daily conversations. If an unmarried girl so much as shows interest in, or excitement about, marriage she is labeled “discontent”. She is made to feel ungodly for anticipating future matrimony.